Mixed feelings

i really dunno my current mode right now
have lot of things to be taken care of
but none of them did i care about
and when the time really comes to it's end
i feel like crazy
haha...deserves me right
waka~waka~

after 3 months in the land of Lekor
i finally got the chance to go back home
and yes,
there's no place like home
i miss home

today,
-i have JKCB meeting in the afternoon
(i like to gamble things around me...uhuhu. I am surely positive that I can be rejected! But at least, i shoot for it. maybe i can be considered to be qued up in the waiting list, right?)
-have taklimat on new students orientation (i dont like this)

well, this is totally me in a totally miserable mind

It's now middle of the year

hmmm...well theres' nothing to update
but I just can't stand any longer to look at the same old entries
now, it's June
and it means that we already in the middle year of 2010
so, have all my 2010 resolution has been fulfilled?
hoho...some of it has been accomplished, some are on the way and some are still hanging high in the air
I've received some replies from the universities regarding my phd application
but the most thing that made me worried is UMT's quota availabilities for futhering abroad
*sigh*

~...There's Always a Silver Lining ...~ so chear up ;)

Wow, it's almost 3 months that I inhabited the land of Terengganu
Thanks to all my friends that keep following me up
Thanks to Hariss and Faridah for visiting me here
I am so greatful to have all of you as my buddy
and yes, to my lovely housemates too :)
hey, why Im doing this weird dedication??

a few days ago
the most current issue is regarding the the Gaza-bound convoy
at least that keep especially the muslims' eyes awake
and show to the world that the zionist will kill anybody regardless you are muslim or not
well, im not going to explain the details
please find the details elsewhere
and do find a reliable information
and i also do have something to share

No title

just few more days left for May and it means that I've been in terengganu about one month and a half. Many things had happen in this period. But yesterday was the best until now. My parents came and brought my car along too. That was definitely the two most things i ever wanted, my parents and my car. heheh... i spend the whole night with my parents. we stayed in Dara Inn. Dara Inn is owned by my housemate's future father in law. Well, she will be married in end of this month. Congratulation to my housemate. I've to stop now. Got lots of works to do. Cewahh...

Home resistance

i miss HOME again *sigh*

Is your secret safe tonight?
And are we out of sight?
Or will our world come tumbling down?

Will they find our hiding place?
Is this our last embrace?
Or will the walls start caving in?

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
But it should've been right
(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
Let our hearts ignite
(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
Are we digging a hole?
(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
This is outta control

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
It could never last
(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
Must erase it fast
(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
But it could've been right
(It could be wrong, could be...)

Love is our resitance
They keep us apart and they won't stop breaking us down
And hold me, our lips must always be sealed

If we live our life in fear
I'll wait a thousand years
Just to see you smile again

Quell your prayers for love and peace
You'll wake the thought police
We can hide the truth inside

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
But it should've been right
(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
Let our hearts ignite
(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
Are we digging a hole?
(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
This is outta control

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
It could never last
(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
Must erase it fast
(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
But it could've been right
(It could be wrong, could be...)

Love is our resistance!
They keep us apart and won't stop breaking us down
And hold me, our lips must always be sealed

The night has reached its end
We can't pretend
We must run
We must run
It's time to run

Take us away from here
Protect us from further harm
Resistance!

It's good to blog

i blog when i'm usually in a bad mood
or when i'm in a stressful stage
it is so rare for me to blog when i'm in a happy mode
so,
there u have
a blog with all emotional, low motivation, self-destruction, etc entries

but,

sometimes it's kinda good to have a blog
at least u can spill out all your problems
even though ppl wont bother to read it
it has it's own therapeutic effect on me
i just dont like to burden others with all my silly problems
ehh...but sometimes i do (or most of the times? ahaha)
sometimes, i can scrutinize myself calmly
and try to figure out ways
to solve all my problems
during blogging




Yosh...babai

Down to earth??

blog, i hate myself for being too easily depressed. i can get myself easily down. 'down' in my dictionary means really really down where everything around me will become gloomy and miserable. and yes, i am so down at this right moment. i am down because of just few small stupid things (mind your language) which is not something normal people will even bother to be depressed of. am i not normal here? uwaa.... i know it is not easy to get what u wanna want but it's that i wanna want!! (sentence seems weirdo, huh). as-sobrun minal iman dear. it's easy to say...hoho. it comes back to our iman. why i am depressed? first and foremost, it's about my thesis. i've done the correction but then *&&^@@$#$#%$^%^ happened. second, because ^*$%#^%&%^*@ and last because *&(&^*%$%$&. and those were the reasons... just those from pluto can only understand this language. yup, i'm from pluto not from mars or venus.

this is totally a rambling crap.

a brand new world

"Four things do not come back: the spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life, and the neglected opportunity". ----Arabic proverb

so, grab the opportunity and fight till the last blood...ehh..is it right?

blog, i'm in a new brand world right now. i'm starting to enjoy it. i've met new colleagues and found new friends. i loved some of the foods there; there's pari goreng. crabs with salted egg, sotong goreng, nasi minyak, nasi kerabu, nasi lemak berlauk, nasi dagang, all served for breakfast, and many more. and kopok leko is a must. i dont know whether i can diet there. i didnt bring my cam along to take pictures of it. next time maybe...

but the best part is, i have my own office...haha. a nice one. i loved it.

this n3 is totally nonsense. it just my own way to push away my bored-ness

but bangi will always remain the best forever....

i'm not a crybaby...or am i?

uwaa....

i miss home so much
but i'll never will ever tell them that
i feel like calling them
but i can't
if i called
everything will burst out
yeah...

i miss my friends
i miss my car

even though i put a big smile on my face
but the real fact is
i truly miss home
please Ya Allah
gimme strength

and now,
i'm in another confusion state
to go for it or to leave it...
hmm...

wow blog, i'm already being here for 6 days

n3 ringkas n padat

alhamdulillah.............

syukur sgt2x pdNya
aku dh lulus ngn minor correction

mekasih umi n abah
adik2
jiran2

time kasih kat SV and Co-Sv
mekasih sbb sume dtg mase viva
terharu~~

thnks kwn2 sume
yg telah byk menyokong
memberikan kate2 perangsang
sayang korang sume

smlm adlh hr terindah buatku
2 april 2010
rase cam melayang-layang pun ade
mcm x percaye pun ade
ahaha...


--------------------------------------------

aku bersujud pdNya

To u that i heart most

mom n dad,

sorry to make u sad
sorry to burden u
sorry to talk back
sorry to make you unpleasant
sorry...sorry...sorry
forgive me....

i don't know how much time left for us

but,
I'll never ever will give up
and will always try to make both of u happy

mom n dad,

sorry again to make u sad
I meant it
I know eventho' both of u never mention 'bout it
I am truly sorry
I am sorry mom
I am sorry dad


mom n dad,

i .........
me ......

and,
i,
love both of u from the bottom of my heart :(




silent monologue,
running in rain while facing an uphill battle (end march, 2010)

A deep sorrow

Wow...the title is too spooky for me. And it seems so not me. haha... Blog, i have a lot to share as lots of things had happened this past few days. But i don't know where to start.

well, lets begin with story 1;

Sorrow. That's the best word to describe myself right now. Why? I don’t know myself blog. My dear close friend, Hariss, had came last Friday and slept over for two days at my house (I mean my parents’ house :P). We went shopping on Saturday and I was surprised by a gift she gave me. There was this department full of branded handbags and I just have this window-shopping-glancing through all over these handbags. Suddenly, Hariss came to me and asked which one I like the most? Well, without a thought, I just pointed out straight to a lovely maroon handbag. And u know what blog, she said I’ll give it to you as a present. I was shocked. I don’t know what to say. I love the bag but I don’t know whether to say yes or not. Ahaha… well, of course I had said yes. Ahaha… She said it was a gift for me as I will start working soon. Thanks Hariss. You’re the best buddy I have and I heart you. Frankly speaking, I’ll be missing all my friends here and I don’t know whether I’ll survive at my new place or not. But life must go on. I can’t just sit in this comfort zone!!

HEY me!! what's the connection between sorrow and the story above??? *sigh*

Blog, I'll continue later. I suddenly lost the mood to write. AGAIN, this is a totally crap entry.

Mocha dear? Err... no thanks

I learnt my lesson. Use you’re brain and don’t let you’re saliva makes the decision. If u can’t bear with heavy caffeine what more if it is an extreme mocha.

Yesterday afternoon was super extremely hot. I was extremely thirsty and exhausted too. While waiting for my poster to be printed, I thought of having myself some cold stuffs. Just a few walks a step; I saw this super delicious beverages café. There were a lot of choices. You just name it. Everything was nice. I don’t know which want to choose. Without noticing, I already had myself enjoying this yummy extreme mocha. Yeah…it is the extreme one. I had no idea at all why on the earth did I choose that one. Not that the café doesn’t have fruit juices or soft drinks, it’s just my saliva. Blaming my saliva…hahaa. And that evening, I caught myself a really bad headache. I swallowed the panadol but still the pain was there. I knew that heavy caffeine is one of my food taboos, it is just that I can’t stand the whipped cream which was waving happily to me :p

And there you go, I can’t sleep that night until 4 something. I’ve done sort of things, zikr, read the lost symbol (which was only a page until I knew that I don’t have any idea what I was reading about), surf internet, discussed politics with huda bout more than 2 hours (haha…well, we need to know the whereabouts right) and many more. And I had become insomnia last night.

I know blog. It is me to be blamed. Haha… I’ll never touch extreme mocha aanymore but mocha still ok, I think. Haha…

Smile

Dear blog,

only one word for today. Good. Yes, i feel good for this second. but, i will not know what will happen later. Will i be in the same mood after seeing my SV and my co-SV?? huhu...

haha...this is a totally super super super crap entry

Sleeping panda?

dear blog, it's 10pm and im already sleepy. im typing this n3 while listening to the piala pidato perdana menteri where all of them were international participants and have to deliver their speech in bahasa malaysia. well, im not interested at all in telling 'bout the competition...ahaha.

my planning for this night is to continue my reading but it didnt work that way. ive done something else which was not in my planning at all. so, that's what we called flexible, isn't it ;) To fall asleep while reading someone else book, or articles or what ever is something that could be considered normal, but what if we fall asleep while reading our OWN thesis?? haha...that do happened to me. i was reading through my thesis last night and without any notice, i was fast asleep until my sister switch off the light. i dunno how the examiners bear to read through all the contents as the writer itself cudnt hang with it even a few minutes..okay, that's so harsh...i'll put it 'bout an hour.

something good i think happened this morning. as i was doing my usual jogging early this morning, my hp rang. it was weird for somebody to call me early in this morning (except for hariss, who wouldn't even bother at what time she called...haha. blog, im 150% sure that she's not reading this as she doesnt even know bout this blog :P) It was someone from Helwa Terengganu. She introduced herself as Kak Nor. She was asking whether im already in Terengganu or still in UPM. Since i told her im still in UPM and will be there soon, she immediately ask me whether i have a house to rent, do i have somebody to pick up me later and lots of more. it was so nice. i have this good feeling that im not going to be alone in Terengganu. and im going to contribute something there for Islam's sake, insyaAllah ;) I want to be someone useful and reliable (hoho...im in a high motivation mode right now:p )

tomorrow im going to have a date with mun chieng ;) We'll be going to the aussie edu fair in Seri Pacific Hotel. mun chieng offered herself to drive but both of us dont have any idea the route to get there. so, we just have to go by LRT for tomorrow :( We wanna bring u too blog. but u dont have legs to walk. so, we couldn't bring u and it's hot nowadays. blog, if someday u can walk (which is totally impossible) and i emphasized again, IF someday u can walk,
dont walk behind me, i dont want u to be my follower
dont walk infront of me, i dont want u to be my leader
but do walk besides me, i just want u to be my friend...

haha...sweet isnt it blog...

bye2 blog for now. im refresh back after this rambling talk stuff :p

Some pictures during nawwar's wedding

here are some pictures during nawwar's wedding...


pic with aini alias. my oily face turns to be super oily after the lost journey..ehehe


nawwar was so gorgeous ;0


aini was so happy...


met with old friends


me n friends....