Phd

Describe Phd


It can be mentally TORTURING ... sometimes...
















pening pale

Lelah

setelah sekian lama tak merasai kelelahan yg teramat, hari ini cukup terasa... entah mengapa hati dan otak berbicara bahasa yang sama... dua dua terasa kian lelah.. akal cuba berfikir dan dipaksa berfikir... hingga rasa terbitnya kekurangan atau ketiadaan langsung daya taakulan.. sesungguhnya ilmu-Mu sangat luas.. aku yang lemah ini benar benar rasa kerdil

Aku benar benar berharap segala ilmu ini didasari atas niat keranaMu..

Moga segalanya baik baik belaka...

Ya Ghaffur... Ampuni segala dosa dosaku dan sahabat sahabatku agar kami tak terhijab dengan cahaya ilmuMu... Amin ya Rabalalamin :'(




7.15pm
Hartley Library, Southampton

I dont know

In my head right now, I have no idea at all what to jot down. I just simply logged in and push my finger tips to start typing anything. I just need to get something written down for the sake of my friend that keep visiting my blog. I don't want her/him to get frustrated over the hiatus blog entries. Well, basically, I have 2 months left before going back for good. I had over push my limit I think in the past few weeks. The consequence was that I loose my motivation in the last couple of days. But now, I'm standing back firmly. I will try to finish chapter 6 in next week. In early May, do the last chapter. in second week of May, start to do the corrections. Oh, when is this going to end??





Mom, can I just go back home?

I miss you and dad.

Sikit lg Asma'

ok, sikit lg asma'!!!

sesikit n3 ini.

Hari ni 500+ words

Hari ni mcm tulis agak byk. Sebab dapat support dari mak sendiri yg memang realitinya berada di sisi di UK ini. Yahuuu....


Ehehe...

Haish lama dah x update

Bukanla sibuk apa pun... tp lupe yg ad blog. smlm jmpa sv. kali ni lama jgk gap x jmpa. biasa, tiap2 minggu jmpa. tp sbb demam dan kali ini task adalah key-in data, maka ada la excuse tamau jmp lg. jd smlm jmpe. ad la beberapa perkara yg dibincangkan.


continue jap lg k :)

--- motipp sgt kn nk to be continue

Tadaa II ...

Tadaa...

Ini dia schedule saya yg baru!!


hrp lepas ni saya x lost in my own world sangat. lps dmm ritu, bape hr dah lost track research sendiri.. huhu

Refresh minda and segalanya

Ok... hari  ni update pakai bahasa ibunda sebab PRU13 dah nk dekat. Saya amat terkilan sebab tidak mengundi untuk kali ini.

Ok berbalik pada tajuk asal, saya menggunakan masa berharga 10 minit saya utk update blog ni. Saya nk bgtau yg saya nk refresh (maaf terpaksa menggunapakai bahasa inggeris) semua jadual perjalanan phd saya di saat ini. Saya ingin lebih fokus pada matlamat saya. Allah juga dalam surah at-taghabun telah berkata kepada org islam supaya refresh balik iman mereka. kalo diikutkan surah at-taghabun adalah surah madaniyyah iaitu surah yg diturunkan di madinah. dan surah madaniyyah adalah surah yang diturunkan slps revelation, rasullullah berhijrah di madinah.

2/3 daripada al-quran adalah surah makiyyah dan 1/3 adalah madaniyyah. makiyyah adalah more kepada aqidah. manakala madaniyyah adalah lebih kepada perlembagaan Islam. tetapi mengapa di surah at-taghabun, surah madaniyyah Allah menekankan lagi akidah umat Islam?

dan ketika itu, di madinah, sesiapa yang ingin masuk islam lebih mudah, tiada seksaan atau apa apa penindasan jika dibandingkan ketika pemelukan Islam di mekah. jd ada yang take for granted atas pelbagai sebab. mcm setengah2 kita jgk sekarang, take for granted, sbb agama diwarisi. Jd ada dikalangan merekan, iman mereka tidak sekuat mana. Maka Allah turunkan ayat ini. Sebagai refresher. Haih apa ya refresher dlm bahasa melayu. Even kadang2 dlm kehidupan normal kita, kalo tak diberi peringatan yang baru kita lali dan leka. kdg2 bila kita dpt hadiah baru, kite duk la telek hadiah baru banding ngn hadiah2 yang dh lama kan. maka Allah lebih mengetahui sifat hambaNya, maka Allah datangkan surah at-taghabun sbg refresher utk org Islam! Wallahualam.

Eh berbalik pada topik asal. Sy akan berubah utk lebih fokus pada phd, kurangkan maksiat hati dan sebagainya. Inshallah. Doakan ea kawan kawan ^^

Sama sama la kita :)

Bahagia yg sementara

Ingatkan bila dh abes transfer makin bersemnagat la nk betulkan tesis. Sekali dpt mesej fb dari adik aku yg kecik kata abah frust. erk. adik aku ckp abah nk skype. haih. rupenya abah melahirkan rase kecewa dgn kemajuan progress phd ku. em. ade juga pro n cons utk mempunyai ayah yg dlm bidang yg sama. dia tahu terperinci selok belok phd. sbb bila bgtau kat mak aku, dia lega sgt bila dh lepas. tp respon aku dpt ayah aku berbeza pulak. tp aku akui aku byk giler kelemahan dlm phd ni. ntahla. hr ni rs down kejap. cepatlah bersemangat asma'. cmpur dgn malas lagi. lagila malas aku ni. byk benar alasan aku ni. asma' kuat kuat berusaha. esok pg kene start balik 500words a day. dah lama tinggalkan. tataula apa nk jadi dkt aku ni. slalu n slau sgt cepat nk down. baru sket dah nk susah hati. yg penting kene usaha dan gigih berusaha. berusaha asma'!

- hambaMu yg lemah

My Transfer Thesis

Alhamdulillah. Allah Akbar.I have passed my transfer thesis on the 8th of March 2013. After 2 months of delay, Alhamdulillah everything went well (even though there'e a massive corrections and action must be undertaken). I had my transfer done in my 27 months of study. That is quite late for a 3-year PhD student. hihi. However, that would not demotivated me to proceed to another stage in a more anxious feeling.

That morning, it was peacefully raining. I slept early the night before and wake up early in the morning before subuh. I perform my prayer. And get myself ready.

Aish penatla nk citer bahasa inggeris. ahaha. nk kene pikir ayat yg best and ade continuity plak tuh. last last tulis bm la senang. ok dah smpai school tu, perasaan debar tu ade tp masih leh control. pastu fhiza, mesej awal pg, kata good luck buat keyakinan lebih terasa. dia suh baca ayat 9 yaasin. aku pun baca. pastu baca segala ayat yg tahu utk kurangkan debaran dan hati lebih tenang, dan lidah fasih berbicara dan tidak keruan semasa menjawab soalan. ok sebab sampai awal pukul 8 lebih, dan viva setat pukul 10.00 pg. jd, sempatla nk selak selak sikit balik tesis. pstu 9.45 gerak g building examiner. debar debar debar.

pastu smpai je buidling examiner, sian robinson, jmpe receptionist. dia kata tggu jap. pastu sv aku, barrie margetts turun jemput aku. hakhak. jd bual bual kosong. dah x ingt bual ape sbb aku dh cuak mase tu. ok, dah smpai dpn bilik examiner. itulah kali pertama aku bertatap wajah dgn examiner aku. hihi. pastu letak sume beg n brg brg, aku kuarkan thesis dan apa yg patut.

nk dipendekkan citer, soalan pertama dia tnya aku adalah mcm mane aku nk dtg soton, dan mcm mana aku kenal dgn sv aku skrng ni, barrie margetts. sv aku ade je duduk kat situ. duduk satu meja ngn aku plak. hihi. meja round table. aku berdepan dgn examiner. sv aku lak belah kanan aku. hii..

ok jwb soalan biase aku leh tahan lagi. skali masuk bab tesis. berdebar dah. ok soalan soalan lelain tu tayah diulas kan pjg. sbb byk sekali. amik masa 2 jam utk sesi transfer ni. ade satu soalan tu aku blank. last last aku minta stop jap. nk mimum air. smbil minum air, aku gigih pikir balik cmne aku leh derive cmtu. tetibe leh pulak konpius. skali dh puas minum, aku xdpt gak jwpn. last last aku ckp, im not sure. huhu. teruk betul aku.

dah habes sesi tu, depa suh aku kuar jap. nk diskas diskas. masuk masuk je balik, dia ckp you have passed. smbil senyum. but with lots of work to improve. ok tu mmg aku akui sgt sgt sgt. sv pun ckp well done. moga ini dpt dijadikan pengajaran dan teladan di masa hadapan.

500 words in less than half an hour

Ohoho... I hardly can belief this. I managed to write 500++ words like in just approximately 20 minutes like that. Just a short update here. The thing is that as long as you have the ideas, read some books/journals, and have the points written down, there you go. You just write like an expert. Well, the study is yours. You goreng apa pun, you je yang tau. Kan... ehe



@______@

Writing

Ehem... while I'm finishing my last bits of chocolate-chips brioche, a glimpse of thought came into my mind. I should write it! Yes, that is why I'm squeezing some of my morning time to jot down before I forgot. Just now, I met K Pah. It is not that I met her on purpose, but I really meant to see her. I need to ask her some few questions related to a software. And then we had some discussions about research. The most thing that struck to my head until now is that she wrote 5000 words a day. It is not just 500 words, it's 5000 words!!  I barely can write 500 words but she managed to get herself to write 5000 words a day. That was just really amazing and superb.

And of course, I did ask her some tips. She said that you just need to write. Just write and don't get yourself bothered with grammar or anything. That later can be fixed. The thing is get it written down. And of course, you just can't simply write. You need a box of literature. That is why when you read summarize it in a box or whatever as long as you have it. But don't aim to high. Hee... or you get frustrated. How bout getting start with 500 words a day even though you're already in your 3rd year. Oh my!

No panic attack here~ Hee

Design concept

A few days ago I was bombarded  with questions on my design concept (exaggerated a bit here, haha... it was a just a normal-plain conversation) . I was told that social science needs to have its distinctive structural of a design concept. I was left puzzled for a moment. Somehow, I began to regain consciousness a few minutes later (exaggerated sgt haku...hakhak) and started to search the philosophy behind public health nutrition. Neither was my friends nor me were wrong. All were significant. In my case, my study does not fall 100% under social science, but, it is a foundation build upon biological and applied social science. Okla, tu je kot stakat ni. Mata pun pedih, perut pun pedih, kite pun smbng kedian hari k :)

Love is in the air

And the more I see - the more I know
The more I know - the less I understand
(Paul Weller, 1995)

Who ever this Paul Weller is, I owe him a salute. I empathy his sayings as I am in the same shoes as him right now. However the thought of not knowing anything is common during this journey. You felt like you are left out in this strange-long-seems like never ending journey, but hey, you are utterly wrong there. Go find yourself a phd buddy, and yes you know that you are not alone. Sometimes seek advises from your supervisors. They your guru right? (and...you pay them high too...haha. just joking). Seriously that is a joke. Well, money can't buy knowledge (but with knowledge, you can get money...eh? hahaa). This 3rd year of Phd phase sometimes do drives me nuts. The adrenaline-rush that I felt is not because the high anxiety towards my research but the fear of not achieving the target. I am so behind the schedule. Sigh. That's all for now.

Phd buddies out there,
Wake up and don't put yourself happily in that dreamy surreal position :p

Wahai blogger... dengarkanlah

Dah lama rasaenya x menulis dalam english... bkn tanak tulih dalam english tp takut x biase dh menulis dlm bahasa melayu... tuhdiaa gedik sungguhla aku. dulu konon konon buat blog sbb nk asah bakat yg x terpendam sbb mmg tade bakat yg nk dipendamkan pon utk mantapkan penggunaan bhs english. since dh duk UK, kene biasakan ckp melayu dalam blog plak. ptuihh... bajet sungguh la aku. padahal lagi byk ckp melayu kot aku rase banding mase time duduk kuala terengganu. hahha... bajet lg skali. gaya dok tggnu cakap english la sangat kan. sbb aku tade member seangkatan nk ckp pasal research aku ni, aku dgn rase rendah hati nk citer dkt blog aku je lah ok.

ok, mcm ni ye pkcik blog. eh?? npe pkcik ek? abaikan. kalo aku laki, sah sah aku pnggil dia mkcik tp sbb aku pompuan aku pnggil dia pkcik. eleh takkan korang tatau pasal women-men ethics in blogging. erk? ok penulis sesuke hati buat athic rules sendiri kan. main point aku x masuk lagi, xpi aku dah byk mengarut. kalo dpn sv, terus direct masuk research tade nk main korner pusing pusing jauh. straight to the point.

kajian aku skrng pasal nk develop satu food classification yg baru utk malaysia la. knp plak utk malaysia? sbb sah sah aku warganegara malaysia kenala aku buat utk malaysia takkan aku nk buang duit kerajaan develop utk negara lain plak kan. baik aku fokus utk malaysia dan at least malaysia dpt benefit atas apa yg aku buat tu asa hadapan. benefit sgt ke?? haha... bajet je kan. knp lak aku kene bersusah payah nk develop yg baru, yg sedia teruk sgt ka atau tadek langsung? dan perlu ke ade food classification ni? cube habaq mai...

susah gak nk habaq mai lagu tu je.

makanan bkn kompleks beb. bkn leh belasah selesai mcm tu je. pertama skali, aku nk develop satu nutrition education approach yg leh bantu bimbing org ke arah kebenaran makanan yg betul. dalam Islam, manusia perlukan Al-Quran utk bimbing ke arah jln yg kebenaran, 'ihdinas siratul mustaqim'. begitu juga dlm mknn. manusia perlukan guideline. kalo tade guideline payah ar kan. jd soalnya sekarang, tade ke guideline? mestila ade kan. tapi guideline yg dibuat manusia mestilah x perfect. Al-quran adalah guideline/garis panduan manusia yg syumul. Sape x ikot, akan tersasar dari kebenaran. Jadi, guideline makanan yg ade ni, berdasarkan hasil pembacaan yg kritis ade la gap gap.

Apa la gap gap nye? aku tau baju Gap je. Hang toksah nk buat lawak x bape nk klaka lak kat sini. Ok, antara sbb munasabab guideline yg ade x bape nk membantu sbb;
1. klasifikasi makanan yg depa buat tu x mencerminkan realiti apa yg di makan org skrng. hah? mcm mane plak tu. org skrng byk mkn processed makanan yg memang sgt la tade dlm food pyramid. acu ce bg contoh. poning gak rupenya nk bg contoh mknn melayu. slalu mknn mat saleh byk mcm pie ikan la, ayak gas, pizza instant, soup instant, mee instant, dan segala atas muka bumi ni yang instant. jd lagu mane nk classify tu? nk ckp byk mane nk ambil sume? dlm food piramid, tadela dihabaq nk amek byk mane.

dh tu knp memula x buh siap siap dlm food guideline sume ke bende tu? ok, kat situ la, kite kene tau asas kepada pembinaan food guideline ni. Apa foundation dia food guideline ni. okla aku namakan food guideline ni sbg FBDG. sedapkan? ptuihh. sodap ko bondanya. aku siap nanges kot buat kajian ni. nanges bkn sbb susah ke ape sbb aku rase ape yg aku buat ni x significant lngsung. tp member aku ckp, aku kene ade faith pd sv-sv aku. sbb diorang tau kot ni dh ok ke dok. ok la kalo cmtu kan. berbalik pd menatang FBDG ni, terhasil dari satu mesyuarat agong la senang kata. mesyuarat agong ni dipanggil ICN (international conference nutrition) pd tahun 1992 dekat Rome. Kire ni mesyuarat agung dlm bidang nutrition la. Aku penah gi dah. haha.. saje nk ckp jgk. Aku g tahun  2009 kot ke 2010 ntah kat bangkok. ICN waktu dihandle-kan (amboi...taleh je ke guna di..eh aku pn tatau ayat dlm b.m ape) oleh WHO dan FAO. malaih aku nk explain menatanmg ape plak WHO dan FAO tu. tnye je pkcik gugel k. tgk aku gune pkcik gak utk refer pd gugel (google).

Ok dari situ diorang kata nk ada kenalpasti dan pada masa yg sama galakkan, strategi dan pelan utk membaikpulih nutrisi dan pemakanan seluruh negara. Dan, diorang adopted (eh... apehal gune english lak...) gol dari "The World Declaration and Plan of Action for Nutrition).


Ok sblm aku pi jauh terangkan gol gol World Declaration tu, ade baiknya ku publish sket dulu. kang aku karang penuh, hangpa malaih nk baca lak kan.

Baru sedaq na...

Dah berkurun gak paper master dedulu dh accepted tp x sangka lak leh masuk pubmed. masuk pubmed hokey... dah rase nk pengsan. kalo masuk nature, lg mennages kot.

kalo teringin nk tgk, click di sini :)

pastu ade lg satu masuk dalam himpunan malaysian jurnal. click di sini jika nk tgk la... klik here. ok la tu kan. hihi. patotla pelik mane mane bdk bdk ni dpt jurnal jurnal aku. bru aku sedar... at least ade rupenye kegunaan paper aku tuh..


Tu je la pon nk bgtau. Sibukla pasal master nye paper, phd nye dh malas n x bape nk produktif. Haihhhh....

Counting days to go back home

I was smiling like crazily while I'm writing this entry. I can't wait for that moment to come!


I am bit drowsy or perhaps sleepy in another terms that suits me best. It has been 2 weeks since I came back from Rio de Janeiro. And I think it was the best ever conference I had attended so far. Eventhough I didn't like much the environment, but I enjoy so much the conference. I met and build up new research networking that really helps my Ph.D. study. Let me tell bits of the journey;

Day 1 (26/4/2012)
I depart from Heathrow around 2.00pm and arrive Rio at nearly 12.00midnight. I was still in a state where I did not believe that I'm going to Brazil. And to double it up, I was going by myself! The journey took me around 10 to 11 hours. It was a direct flight by British Airway airlines (the ticket flight was £700++, but phew it was sponsored). As the plane landed, I was relieved that everything was going smoothly. I headed to the Brazil border agency, and it was really quick. And the journey really began as I step out of the arrival gate. I took a taxi from the airport taxi counter as advised by the internet research that I have done. It cost me R$80 from airport to centro which was only a 30 - 40 minutes journey. What a money! On the way to the hotel, the taxi driver asked me (in portugese of course!) "Are you travelling by your own only?". I didnt know why did he asked that question until I see the city by myself. As I entered the city, it was like...
- will be continue -

Transfer thesis

It'll be around september @_@

What did I do today?

I did write another 250 words today. Many praise to Allah for giving me ideas and wills to write for today. I need to write more so that I can show it to my beloved SV. Speaking of him, I hadn't meet him yet this week. And, he also didn't ask me anything until to this end of day. Should I be relieved or should I not??

Up there, a picture to show how happy am I not to have a meeting with SV...


haiyaaa... ini olang manyak tilok, kije talak siap, itu pasal manyak happy talak jumpa sama itu SV   -__-!!